Today is the last day of my past life.
love may not
hate may not
see may not
live may not
die may not
dream may not
fear may not
One I will become
In this life. I lived 36 years. Born to a normal family like millions of other baby in he city of China.
Normal, yet I was able to connect with trees, listen to crows (predict death, event), call for rain and snow and cast love spell. Someone or something always have been protecting me. Which in the end all teach me not to ask for what is not mine. Everyone can process those power as long as they have pure soul in either light or darkness.
childhood:
My father and grandparents showed me love and dream, while my mother taught me pain and suffering. In china for 16 years I lived under the name of Chen Yuan. Like every kids I was struggle with pressure of school. often starts at 6am and don't finish until 8 or 9pm with homework. And there was weekend schooling too. Funny thing is 10 years of schooling often 6 or 7 days a week. I still didn't feel like I learned anything useful.
When I was 12, I encountered her book in a library. Her name was shan mao, She traveled around the world. Her book is simple and enhancing. The people of south american Indian, desert story of Sahara, The cold bloodiness or western world. A seed was planted.
Year of Diana and Tracy:
For the next 10 years, I moved to Melbourne from Shanghai with my mother. I left my father, grandparents, friend and all those I know behide to a country I don't speak language of. Mother abused me physically and mentally. Left me die all by myself at home on the sick bed. The loneliness and pain. Years without family and friend. I build a wall around me. To protect me from this world of coldness.
After finish University degree of engineering, I was left with no money no direction and no job. I wanted to fit into the society. Get a job and live normally. I went to see a clairvoyant under suggestion of friend Albert. She told me the past and future for 3 years. She told me that I will get a job in Nov 2007 and she sees me in Sydney and northern territory. 'I can see future, but path is what you have to choice that may alter the outcome' she said.
2 months later I got a job in non destructive testing in Sydney with the help of god. I put all my belong into the car. borrowed 2000 dollar from Albert. Drove to Sydney.
Year of Yuan 2007-2013
I worked hard. I worked a mans job with many many man on construction site. except boyfriend I keep everyone else at distance away. 2012 year of dragon I landed job that Queensland that paid a lot of money. We worked 12 hours 7 days a week for 4 weeks and have 1 weeks off. Money was good but I wasn't happy. Job itself was a shame. Quality were not up to standard. Managed by 10 different supervisor in 10 months. The hardest part is one of my supervisor crack onto me. follow me everywhere. Then news break out, my grandmother died. I was tired. Tired holding up all by myself. Tired of no one who listen to me. Tired of loneliness. My supervisor saw my weakness, we become friend. and one night he put into my room.
Being a girl on construction site is hard. being a girl on a Arab construction construction site is harder without any support from supervision. without any friend and without any protection.
They say things happen for a reason. So it did. It was the hottest day in Queensland. I asked my new supervisor if i could run down to the shops get some beer during work hour when there is no work going on. He said yes. When I was walking out of the shop with beer. I bump into the Arab boss who walk into the shop.(arab drinks too?) One in million chances. Arab boss was upset seeing me there during work hour. 1 months later I was kicked off the job.
2013-2016
There is a boy name: Matty campbell also works in same company. I really liked him. But he is the kind don't seem to be interested in long return relationships. He is my dream guy, mentally strong, smart, feel like a rock. I went to temple ask if I could have him. My wish was granted. He fall in love with me as I with him. I didn't see it as a love spell until a girl in Iquitos told me it is.
Love is a spell after all. As I bound him to me. I bound myself to him.
2013 I found my calling to Ayahusca, I died, my soul and spirit returned to a world of no man.
Yet my old life bound me
my guilt of unable to look after my dad
my house car job
my attachment to Matty
Ayahusca told me that Matty and me will not become one in the end.
For what I going to become. I have to let go all from this world. That includes myself.
I unbound him from gift, where my heart broken into million pieces. months follow that, he discover that he no longer loving me. or unsure of his feelings. spell is broken. I cried in my dreams and sleep. unwilling let him go.
4 months later in a hottest day of summer 2016. My stalker from Queensland job turn up at my door after saw me walking the dog. I got really scared and told mat. Mat found out my affair before I started dating him. That was the last cut to the string. strange enough that I have dream of it happening the night before.
Under the name of ONE
For I have let go of car, job, house, boyfrined(personal love)
For now my dad is remarried and seem happy and well looked after
For now I have nothing to hold me back
I will become the One
